Well, here I am. On day one. Scared out of my mind. I'm probably making more out of this than I should, but Insanity program is called Insanity for a reason. But seriously actually think about it. The definition of "Insanity" (as the dictionary and many movie quotes tell us) is: doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Won't I be doing the same thing over and over? The same workouts (though a rotation of them) expecting something different than what other programs promise.... Idk. I keep thinking why am I doing this? I haven't even shared the fact that I'm doing this blog with my family. You probably think I must be embarrassed.....and you're probably right.
A couple years ago I went on this big kick of losing weight to join the military. I actually ended up losing 100 lbs. I did learn a lot about losing weight back then and I think it'll help me now, but when I changed my mind and went back to college because I was over 24 and able to apply for FASFA grants (and actually get them) within a year I had gained almost all of that weight back. Ouch. Binge eating was my friend. And still is to be honest. One of those friends who you know gossips and is nasty behind your back, but when you need them is always there.....to gather more horrible information about you to pass on to other people. Sigh.
I want to succeed. When I was losing weight before, I was living with my Mother after my parents divorced. She was this lovely cushion, my support system for when I fell off the wagon (which I did......often), then the second I moved it was like my fat said, "Erin! It's been a while! We missed you! Lets party!"
Maybe this blog can be my support system. Even if no one reads it. The typed words a beacon of light in a swamp of sorrows....nah too cliche'd....ok how about a beacon of light in a swamp of Ben and Jerry's, Cheeto puffs and Mountain Dew. yea....that works.
Anyway, here I am; after watching Julie & Julia for the millionth time, wishing I actually had a cat and inwardly wishing life was easier.