Failure and Moving On

Ok, so Insanity was apparently a little to insane for me. I stopped doing the workouts a while ago, but have been too ashamed to post about it. After that I didn't care what I put in my body and guess what?! Yea I gained what little I lost back again. Who'da thunk it. I didn't feel well in any sense during that time. I still wanted to lose weight, but was in the rut of having just failed again. Then about a week or two ago I thought of something that I hadn't seen in a long time (because I don't have cable) You Are What You Eat by Gillian McKeith. I looked it up on Youtube and sure enough there it was. Crappy second hand copies of it, but it was there anyway.

After watching the episodes again I was like omg that's me on every one of them. I'm drinking too much soda, eating too much crap. I went to Britain's Channel 4 website and found a bunch of recipes and meal plans for healthy living. Through all of this I came to the (obvious now that I look back on it) conclusion that I just want to be healthy. I have PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome). Not sure if I've ever mentioned that. It's a syndrome that affects my ovaries due to too much weight. I could be facing infertility in the future if I don't get my weight under control. One of the most notable symptoms I've had is an absence of periods. I haven't had one in over a year....ugh. I just want to be healthy, if that means losing a bunch of weight great, but that's not the end all be all. I'm tired of weight loss gimicks. From now on I'm going to think about what I put in my body in its nutrient value, not calories. What is it going to do for my body? Gillian has provided free of charge all the information I need to eat healthfully and consciously on the Channel 4 website and I am dam sure going to take advantage of it.

I started the meal plan on Monday and just to see how I'm doing, I weighed myself today and have already lost 4 lbs (going from 302 to 298) so in a few days I'm already at what it took me weeks to get to on the insanity plan. I am so excited :) I've already noticed I have more energy and I know following this path will lead to a happier future.

In the blogosphere on the other hand, I'm not going to be treating it as a job any more. I'm looking for a local job at the moment. I really hope I get a job at Subway. It'd be nice working around lots of veggies lol. I'll actually be treating this as a blog. If people read it, great. If I make a little money at it, great (cause I'm still poor as hell). My goal is to be healthy and it's a site better than failing.

Happy health to everyone